Thursday, June 4, 2009

Going Home, to write

I like Christina Capecchi, the Twenty-Something writer. Her column has spunk. She writes about ipods and buying a too-small dress for a friend's wedding with the hope of getting into it before the big day. She writes about young life and weaves God into it.

Then there's George Weigel. His column is deep. He has a grip on the nexus between public policy and the Catholic faith that I can only begin to fathom.

And Fr. Frank Pavone and Deacon Keith Fournier. I know that God cares for the unborn very much - because He has put these men at the front of the fight. Their writing is strong and motivates us even though the day of battle seems to go on and on.

I sometimes wish I could be like these writers. I wish I had the vibrancy of Christina Capecchi. The brilliance of George Weigel. The rallying success of Fr. Pavone and Deacon Fournier.

And the list goes on.

But I am just me. A woman who loves Jesus Christ and His Church. A woman who has lived as many lives as a cat. Preacher's kid. Pastor's wife. Divorcee. Single mother of three. Poor. Not poor anymore. Protestant - of almost every flavor at one time or another. And then. . . I am carried along by grace to a new place.

One scene changes and another takes its place.

There's the soft bubbling of the holy font at the entrance to the sanctuary, where I dip my fingers and remember my baptism at the age of 13. I walk to the front and kneel, eyes on the altar, where Jesus waits. I bow my head, hardly able to grasp the privilege I have been given. Not only to begin again, but to encounter this One I love in such a concrete and tangible way. And I cross myself. I am yours, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And it is good to be here, safe, in Mother Church.

In this place, my heart discovers my deepest love. And I go home, to write, as one who is neither young nor old, neither brilliant nor witty, not powerful or winsome. But as one who loves very much, and that is enough.


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