The prayer is not what I was used to.
It is a not-very-evangelical-kind-of-prayer. I'm not 100% sure why that is so, but I think it is because it doesn't proclaim Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine, Oh what a foretaste of Glory Divine theology. The prayer is grounded in Divine Mercy.
Jesus, the merciful Son of God.
And my reliance on His mercy and His promises. Nothing less.
Yes, there's assurance in Divine Mercy and Divine Promises. It's different from presumption and an assurance that I know that I know that I know I'm heavenbound. That sense of "done-ness" is set aside and Lord, have mercy takes its place.
And that's not evangelical. It's Catholic. It's "2000 years" Catholic. But it's not evangelical theology at all.
Everything depends on the mercy of our God. Everything.
I trust in His mercy. I cling to His promises. But I have not forgotten how weak I am. How needy I am before the Throne of Grace.
No. I don't know that I will shoot to heaven like an arrow if I die tonight. And I wouldn't trade my adherence to trust for a take-it-to-the-bank-confidence that I'm as good as there already.
I think I am closer to salvation than I was yesterday. Or last year. Or twenty years ago.
Why? Because I have abandoned my assumptions and presumptions. I have exchanged them for the word Trust.
Jesus, I trust in You.
I don't trust in a prayer I said in second grade. I don't trust that Jesus simply made me appear holy before the Heavenly Father even though I'm not yet altogether holy.
Jesus, I trust You. I trust in your Divine Mercy. Your love. Your Precious Blood.
I believe that you are grafting me into Your Body. It's a present-progressive kind of transformation. Not a past-tense prayer that was said.
Jesus, I trust that You will not abandon me. That You will help me to run the race to the finish line. Because everything doesn't rest on what I did in the first lap of this race.
I cling to mercy. Merciful Father, Merciful Son. Merciful Spirit.
It's a promise of mercy. And promise is not the same thing as assurance. The Promise is from Christ. It requires trust. Hope. Faith. Grace. Things that come from God.
It does not assume that I am signed, sealed, and as-good-as delivered to the Gates of Heaven.
And so, I pray...
Oh, my Jesus, forgive me of my sins. Save me from the fires of hell. Lead all souls to heaven, especially those most in need of your mercy.
Knowing all too well that I'm that one. Most in need of mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
(Divine Mercy, 2011)