Moby Dick begins with the opening line, “Call me Ishmael.”
I prefer the words, “Call me Hagar.”
I can relate to Hagar. Like Hagar, I have nursed my own big dreams. And I have seen those plans fall apart.
Hoping Abraham’s child would be her big break, Hagar becomes a little too sure of her position. The fact that it was Sarah’s idea all along means nothing. It carries no weight that Sarah, hoping to end their infertility, practically pushed her maidservant into Abraham’s tent.
Once Abraham’s legitimate wife conceives a child of her own, Hagar and Ishmael are yesterday’s news. Sarah bears a son, Isaac, the child of the divine promise. The culmination of Abraham and Sarah’s dreams. The fulfillment of an angel’s word. The mistress doesn’t stand a chance.
The surrogate mother is told to exit stage left.
Hagar has no options. It is difficult to set things right when they are built on poor decisions in the first place. If only Sarah had fully trusted in God to make good on His promise. If only she had believed that God can do anything. Instead, she tries to force the Hand of God, which is never a good idea. Hagar pays the price.
There’s always a price to be paid when people play God.
According to Holy Scripture, Abraham’s wife complains to him, saying that his illegitimate son is tormenting their son. She says the maidservant has forgotten her place. She says this will never do.
Abraham decides to send Hagar away. This is where Hagar has my sympathy. This is where I can relate.
A single mom on the road. I’ve been there.
Hagar didn’t have three children, but she did have Ishmael. She didn’t have a car to hold her belongings and transport her child. So she walked and walked.
She didn’t have child support, just some bread and a skin of water from Abraham.
She didn’t drive from the state of Georgia to Illinois so that she could live at her parents’ home, but she did return to Egypt, the land of her people.
And she didn’t drown out the pain by turning up the volume on the car radio, but she probably cried, like I did.
She probably wondered how she would make it through.
God remembers, and looks with kindness, even upon those who should have no claim to grace and mercy because they have walked outside His Divine Plan. Even those who have played at the God game, even these God protects. And He permits them to be a part of His Permissive Plan. . . until they are ready to turn to Him completely. But He waits patiently, until they are at the end of themselves.
As He did with me.
As He did with Hagar.
What is the matter, Hagar? Don’t be afraid; God has heard the boy’s cry in this plight of his. Arise, lift up the boy and hold him by the hands, for I will make of him a great nation (Genesis 21:17-18).
Hagar didn’t deserve to have God’s help, and neither did I. God looks beyond the series of bad decisions and has mercy.
And God had mercy on Ishmael and Hagar.
Call me Hagar, because God found me in the desert and had mercy on me. The wrong has been set right, something only God can do.
Have I ever tried to play God? Have I wanted something so much that I have tried to make it happen? Lord, forgive me for my lack of trust. Help me to remember that You are in control and that, even when others disappoint me or things don’t go as I have planned, even then You are fully in control.
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