It started about two weeks ago . . . this desire to learn more about how God loves His little ones. The challenge "to love others as I have loved you" is a tough one. It's a lesson that doesn't come in a great and mighty way. You don't wake up one day and say, "Oh, I've got it."
You learn - and as you learn, you realize that you just don't know anything about the most important thing there is to learn.
God's kind of love. The kind of love that dies to self. Not in some foreign country or in the Colosseum, necessarily. But the kind of love that dies to self minute-by-minute over the course of a lifetime. That kind of love.
So, I started praying for help in this leg of the journey. I've been bringing it to daily Mass. As I receive the Eucharist, I ask for a little help. Teach me, Lord, to have a charitable heart.
And a couple of days ago, I had this desire to pick up a book by a saint. Read a bio. But I've read everything on my shelves already. I googled the phrase "great saint bio" and a few things popped up. I read something about St. Catherine of Siena. Okay, that looks kind of good. Maybe I'll look for a book about her.
I stopped by the parish office today after Mass. The RCIA leader was there and I asked him to recommend something from the parish library. "Have you ever read anything about St. Catherine of Siena?" he says. I laugh and go to the library and find the book.
There are three on the shelf. Okay, God, which one did you have in mind? I pick one up.
And I read the first paragraph. "The soul...begins by exercising herself...to know better the goodness of God towards her. This she does because knowledge must precede love, and only when she has attained love, can she strive to follow and to clothe herself with the truth.... The soul...follows the footprints of Christ Crucified and thus, by desire and affection, and union of love, makes her another Himself."
That kind of affirmation is grace. It's the moment that our soul says to our heart, yes, you are hearing Him speak. And now, it's time to focus in this direction and Learn.