Encountering an hour of Adoration for the first time

(reprinted from a 2006 Catholic by Grace article)

Entering the Presence of Our Lord in order to worship him during an hour of Perpetual Adoration is a multi-sensory experience. Just minutes before eleven o’clock on Wednesday night, I walk up the steps to the little church and open the heavy wooden doors. I notice the way the place smells first, and it comes to me like a warm greeting. Old wood. Old books. The residual scent that lingers from decades of burning incense and candles in this place.

I try to shut the door quietly after I cross the threshold, so as not to disturb the one who has come before me. Candles quietly burn for the intentions of the faithful. I dip my fingers in the font which is half-filled with cool, refreshing holy water. The water feels good to my fingertips and forehead, and leaves a mark on my shirt where I touch. This act always reminds me of my baptismal vows. It brings to mind the day my father baptized me, and I thank God for the profound connection that remains to the father I loved so deeply and for the chance to renew my vows to my Heavenly Father.

The church is dimly lit in the eleventh hour, but the golden tabernacle and monstrance reflect the candle flame and soft overhead lights. I walk nearly to the front, eyes fully fixed on the Lord.

I kneel before the altar. I see what appears to be bread, but I think about how it feels to receive my Eucharistic Lord, and once again He pours grace upon me to see with eyes of faith.
Then it spreads over me, with the gentle aid of the Holy Spirit – a spiritual communion so sweet that I know He is glad I came for this hour.

I reflect back to the first time I participated in this kind of worship at the invitation of a friend. I didn’t think anything unusual was happening to me. In the preceding weeks, I had been given the grace to believe in the Real Presence. I knew the Lord was really up there on the altar. Perpetual Adoration seemed like something one would want to do out of obedience to and affirmation of the Real Presence; so I accepted the invitation. It was lovely, but I didn’t realize this unique form of worship was doing something inside of me.

For weeks after that night, every time I passed the little church, I felt a call to come back. I couldn’t shake the feeling. And I knew that something had happened to me. My RCIA leader calls it a grace. All I know is that my spirit had been awakened to the importance of Perpetual Adoration, and there was no denying the hunger in my soul to return to the source of peace.

This quiet worship has become part of my life. When I am sick or on vacation and am unable to spend my hour with Our Lord, that same hunger returns. And I think my RCIA leader is right. That hunger is a grace, a little gift, a gentle reminder that Our Lord loves me and wants me near.

Sometimes I sit with Our Lord and say nothing. Sometimes I sing a quiet song of praise (since there is nobody but the Lord and me at the eleventh hour). Sometimes I pray or read a religious book. Sometimes I leaf through the Missalette and see if the Lord has something to tell me through the day’s Mass readings.

When I get home, my husband always asks me how it went. “It was wonderful,” I say. How does one put into words what it is like to sit with the Lord?

I asked Jesus to come into my heart when I was eight. I know what it is like to fall in love with Jesus Christ with the simple heart of a child because that’s how it was for me. I was so young – and the Lord was so real.

Years later, I recognized the Eucharistic Lord as the Lord of my youth, but I realized that His Presence in the Eucharist is richer, deeper and purer than anything I’ve ever experienced. My heart says this is the same Lord. My spirit knows that, while that is true, it goes deeper.

When, by grace, a child of God is able to recognize the Real Presence in the Eucharistic Lord, there is no place to call home apart from the Catholic Church. That is why I make my way to that little church every week and spend an hour with Him.

Jesus said, Where I am, there shall my servant be also (John 12:26). Jesus is there; so that’s where I want to be.

Encountering an hour of Adoration for the first time

When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd

We’ve gotta stop keep meeting like this.

Bob and I see each other every Friday morning at 3 A.M. This morning, he met me at the door of the Adoration Chapel and asked me to unlock the passenger door to my car. He pulled a lilac bush from his car and placed it gently on the seat of my Volvo.

I have wanted a lilac bush with purple flowers since I was about twelve. I still remember the scent of a lilac bush in full bloom. And that scent pulls me back to childhood just as vividly as time travel, if there really were such a thing.

My little lilac bush sat in the front seat of my car and waited for me to finish praying. Two hours later, I got in the driver's seat and headed for home.

I already have the whole thing planned. That bush will grow into a lovely mature plant and my own grandchildren will build olfactory memories of the days spent at Grandma's house. And I will tell them the story of Bob, and how we met every week before the Blessed Sacrament.

And they will get a sense of the connection that exists between generations (Bob is in his eighties) and a greater appreciation for memories and they will discover just how important prayer was to their grandmother.

Yes, I am about as sentimental as they come. And I cannot wait for lilac blooms in my own back yard. And as for grandchildren, I think I'm ready for those, too.

When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd

Never Lose Hope for Reconciliation and Conversion

I have two hours every week with our Eucharistic Lord. It requires getting up at 2:30 in the morning and drinking coffee until I am finally able to keep my eyes open. Then, I spend the hours of 3 to 5 A.M. at the Adoration chapel.

I pray for the same thing every week. Sometimes, there are additional petitions. But always, I pray for the conversion and reconciliation of a certain set of dear ones.

On Thursday evening (tonight), I always wonder why I do it. I have doubts that my prayers are making any difference.

This afternoon, I received an email from Dr. Robert Moynihan at Inside the Vatican. No, I don't know him personally. I'm simply on the mailing list.

Anyway, today's article posed the question: What has Kirill, Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church, done since his election, and what are the prospects for a meeting with Pope Benedict XVI?

Maybe you don't know church history. The rift between these two branches came nearly 1,000 years ago (in 1054).

But the article points out that Pope Benedict XVI believes and has said that he held “firm hope” of uniting the two Churches.

Okay, if the Holy Father can pray for that union - and pray with expectation - then I can get up again in the middle of the night and pray for a handful of people who are dear to me.

Tonight, I will pray the same prayers again, but I will also add Pope Benedict and Patriarch Kirill's petition to my list. What a wonderful day of reconciliation that would be!

Never Lose Hope for Reconciliation and Conversion

Alleluia one more Sunday

This weekend, we will hear the words of Isaiah:

See, I am doing a new deed,
even now it comes to light; can you not see it?

I read these words this morning during my Adoration time. (Yes, I peeked ahead to Sunday's OT reading.) And I thought about the entire passage and Isaiah's prophecy.

It seems that God works this way a lot. He says what He is going to do. And often, we don't believe because it doesn't happen in the way we expect or in the instant we had hoped it would occur.

For example:

He speaks to Joseph of old, in a dream. Your brothers will bow down to you. But it doesn't happen immediately. His brothers sell him into slavery. He is mistreated and misused by Potiphar's wife. He rises in the ranks. And when he least expects it, his brothers come to Egypt to ask for pharoah's help - and they bow down to the one who speaks for pharoah. . . not realizing that this is their brother.

He speaks to Moses, I am going to free my people. But it doesn't happen immediately. They go through plagues and Pharoah saying no again and again. Then they have to pass through the Sea. And then they wander forty years. Then they have to cross Jordan. And then they have to "take the land".

Again and again, God says what He will do.

You will have a child. You will be set free. You will inherit a land. You will be my people. You will know the truth. You will have peace.

And because He is God (and we are not), He does it in a way that we cannot envision and in a moment we don't expect.

I sat there at about a quarter to four this morning and I read these words. See, I am doing a new deed, even now it comes to light; can you not see it? Isaiah spoke hundreds - thousands - of years ago. But He spoke of a New Covenant. A Messiah. The Hope of Israel. He spoke of one who would take our sins, doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. And we would be able to come to Him. Sit with Him. Enter the holy of holies.

And in that moment, I raised my eyes to the Eucharist and I knew that I was seeing the fulfillment of Isaiah's words.

This new thing that God has done. . . can you not see it?

Alleluia one more Sunday

My Adoration Hour(s) This Morning

Friday mornings, I get out of bed and head to the Adoration Chapel for my two hours alone with Our Lord. I usually really am alone with Jesus because there aren't too many people who like to stop by the chapel between three and five in the morning. That's fine with me. I pray a little, read a little, just stare into the Most Blessed Sacrament a little.

I don't have a real plan for the time I spend there. I'd like to share with you what Our Lord shared with me this morning:

Rising very early before dawn, he left and went off to a deserted place, where he prayed. [The disciples] pursued him . . . He told them, "Let us go on to the nearby villages that I may preach there also. For this purpose have I come" Mark 1:35-38 (NAB).

It made me smile. This is one reason I drag myself out of bed and go every week. I'm pursuing him, before the dawn, in his quiet place. And he sometimes lets me in on what he's up to - and once in awhile, I even get a glimpse into the part he wants me to play in this Great Plan.

But even when there are no revelations or deep contemplations, I always leave knowing that I have encountered the Living God. It's worth "rising very early before the dawn" to be with this one I love.

My Adoration Hour(s) This Morning