Missed the Bus

I had it all planned. Now that my daughter is in middle school and her bus arrives a full-hour earlier than it did during the elementary years, I can make 8:00 Mass part of my daily schedule. Yesterday was day one. My whole day was encompassed by a beautiful aura. I was looking forward to day two and further incorporating this new habit into my daily routine. I can do this, I told myself. I’m going to be like those faithful ones who make it to Mass, come rain or shine. Isn’t it great how humans can decide to do something different and make it happen? It’s a kind of self-imprinting. It’s a change in habit that’s borne of sheer determination of the will. And eventually, you just do it. It’s part of you.

That's what I was thinking when I woke up this morning and had my coffee and shower before 7:00 (so that I could fast the full hour before Mass).

Today, my daughter missed the bus. So much for planning ahead.

God has an interesting way of reminding me that my thoughts and expectations aren’t necessarily his. While I was planning my day, he knew that the bus would arrive ten minutes before its ETA. He knew that my daughter would need a ride to school. He knew that I would be in a car, trying to console my middle school daughter while others were parking in the parish lot.

“No, you won’t be late. Yes, I know it’s school picture day. No, you won’t miss pictures. See, we’re doing fine on time. Don’t you have a prayer or something that you pray when you begin to feel like this? Well, maybe it’s a good time to come up with one.”

Today, God threw a wrench into my plans. My self-imprinting will have to come next week. Today, God wanted to show up in the conversation between my daughter and me. A conversation that wouldn’t have happened if she had been standing at the end of our driveway just a couple of minutes earlier.

Today’s imprinting wasn’t for me. It was for my daughter. When things aren’t going as you planned and you realize that you are feeling anxious and insecure, have a prayer, daughter of mine. Something short. Something easy to remember. Say it over and over, until you know that God is with you and all will be well.

Missed the Bus