Reformation Day through the eyes of a Roman Catholic Preacher's Kid

I didn't realize that today is Reformation Day - until someone posted it on Facebook. It was a celebratory post. Happy Reformation Day!

And the one who posted it is a relative of mine.


Martin Luther

Reformation Day marks the Protestant Reformation. It honors the men who walked away from the Catholic Church and began creating denominations.

I come from a Protestant family. Dad was a preacher. I don't remember celebrating Reformation Day, and I didn't even realize it existed until I became Catholic.

When I first heard about it, I was sad. Really? We think it's fun to celebrate this greatest of divisions? We delight in the fact that so many have gone a different way and left the Sacraments behind - the Eucharist behind?

In my dad's second pastorate, there were some high school boys. When the adults weren't looking,
they would thump us on the head - really hard - with their knuckles. They would glom onto our toys and mistreat them. Sometimes, they would break them.

And we would blink back tears.

That's how it feels to read celebratory posts about Reformation Day.

It stings. It's like being hurt by kids who don't really understand how it feels. Kids who can move on to other things in a few minutes and not realize you are still stinging from their pranks. It's like having our toys used and abused.

Okay, I'm going to blink back the tears and move on now. It's All Hallows Eve. Time for Mass. Time to prepare to celebrate what really matters!

We have brothers and sisters who went before us and overcame. It is time to remember what matters. Holiness is possible. Jesus really does save. Saints are praying.

Thanks be to God!

Reformation Day through the eyes of a Roman Catholic Preacher's Kid

Praying With Mary

There’s just nothing fun about a colonoscopy. Not. One. Thing.

This time, I had a sinus infection that peaked on the day I drank the tanker of Gatorade-Miralax mix.

I should be ultra-thankful for modern medicine that keeps me well – but when you’re in the middle of gagging down lemon-lime ackiness and running to the bathroom, it’s hard to drum up gratitude.

So, yesterday, I kept returning to my Catholic faith. Offer it up, Denise. Just offer it up.

It didn’t make me feel better, but it did make me feel useful.

Recently, I renewed my consecration to Jesus-through-Mary. I read 33 Days to Morning Glory, and I was struck by something that had escaped me in the five-plus years since I made my first consecration.

To be truly consecrated to the Blessed Mother, we must be willing to take her petitions as our own. I no longer have jurisdiction over my prayers.

That was a hard thing to accept. I thought I was all-in with this consecration thing. Suddenly, I realized I was not as far along as I had thought.

I have prayed a lot over the years.

But I always had my list of petitions, and that list of petitions was (usually) limited to my family members. They got all of my attention – and I liked it that way.

Now, I realized, Mary wanted me to take on her intentions. She wanted me to trust that she would know what to do with my family – that they wouldn’t be lost if I completely gave over control to Mary. Her mantle was big enough to cover every petition.

She simply wanted me to trust her. To care about what she cares about.

Now . . . I have prayed the Rosary many times. And from my first days as a new convert, I dedicated each decade to one of the other five members in my family. Things were about to change. I had to pray that Rosary with as much fervor as before – but now, it must be for Mary’s intentions. Could I do it? As a mom and grandma, that's a tall order. I want to pray for those who are closest to me.

I remember the first time I tried to pray for the things that Mary has in her Immaculate Heart, deliberately setting aside my family's needs. I was amazed by what happened next.

The beautiful thing happened – that thing that used to happen in those early days of conversion - that thing that doesn't happen quite as often any more – that contemplative communion that St. Teresa of Avila describes. Consolation upon consolation. Joy. Holiness. Rapture. I was in the presence of God.

And I heard God speak to my heart.

That day, a mom had a special prayer intention that she shared through social media. It was for her son.

I don’t know very much about the situation. I had no idea what to pray for – specifically.

Until, God spoke. The boy came to my mind, and I knew how to pray.

And it felt amazing – a true communion with the Saints – and especially with Mary. There was a boy who had some old hurts, and he was working through them. God was healing old hurts.

So, what does all of this have to do with a sinus headache and a colonoscopy? Well, there wasn’t any great contemplative prayer going on yesterday. I spent most of my time feeling awful – but I offered it up.

Last night, late, long after I had swallowed my last mouthful of lemon-lime mixer, I saw a post on Facebook. Another mother needed prayers. Her preemie was back in the hospital - fighting off an illness – and his life was hanging in the balance. I suspected that this was Mary's intention. And it became my intention as well. I offered the day for a baby I will never meet. For a mother I will never know. For Mary's intentions.

This morning, while the fog of outpatient anesthesia was wearing off, I clicked on Facebook and read that the little boy made it through the night. Thanks be to God.

I’m learning to take Mary’s petitions and make them my own. I am still learning.

But it is good and sweet and a very beautiful gift we have – and it is ours to give. Through Mary, I offer all my works, prayers, joys, and sufferings, all that this day may bring. For Jesus.

All for Jesus through Mary.

Praying With Mary

White Glove Test

I have always had a lived-in house. No spic-and-span for me. No white-glove test on the window sills.

.

I have tried the daily list. Vacuuming everything on Mondays. Washing clothes Tuesdays and Fridays. Bathrooms on Wednesdays and dusting on Thursdays.

I rarely have a clean house - a totally clean house, that is. My children were always the kids who asked, "is someone coming" when I managed to get the house in order.

That is okay for houses.

But that is not okay for souls.

We shouldn't wait for mortal sin to send us to the confessional - like I wait to see the dust accumulate before dusting or my feet to stick to the floor before mopping.

We are meant to be holy - as He is holy. To be perfect - as our Heavenly Father is perfect.

And that cannot happen if we fail to put our souls in order.

Our souls were never meant to settle for the world's lived-in standard.

If you come to my house, the floors may be sticky because the grandsons came for a visit. If you sit at the piano to play me a song, you may find that the keys are dusty and the Mozart statue on the upright piano is dusty, too. The fireplace may still have ashes from the previous winter's final hurrah.

But there is one thing I want clean - one thing I will not leave a mess.

My soul has either just been made clean through the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Blood of the Lamb - or there is a little notebook in the bottom of my purse that keeps track of what needs to be cleaned. It goes with me into the Confessional where the Lord has washed away some complicated heaps of trash. We are now working on the corners and crevices where dirt likes to hide.

I am not perfect. But that is my goal.

I am not yet holy. But that is my desire.

When I die, the house may be left a bit of a mess, but I pray my soul is ready to entertain the King of kings.

If not, bring on purgatory.

White Glove Test

Everyone really is fighting a battle.

One of the more popular quotes on Pinterest today goes something like this: "Be kind - everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about."

Who knows where the quote originated. According to Wikipedia, it was first coined by a Scottish writer and minister by the name of Ian Maclaren who died from a bad case of tonsillitis while visiting the U.S. The illness overcame him, and he took his last breath in Mount Pleasant, Iowa.

Iowa. My home state. I am quite familiar with good ole' Highway 218 which used to cut right through Mount Pleasant. Now, it bypasses the little Iowa town and is known as The Avenue of Saints.

But I digress.

I thought about the quote yesterday as I had breakfast with my daughter at Panera. Those of us who live in the Greater STL area know the eating establishment as The St. Louis Bread Company. Home of great bagels and coffee.

A middle-aged woman sat at a nearby table - a newspaper spread from one end of the tabletop to the other. She hopped up to get another bagel or cup of coffee, and turned around to look back at her table. I glanced up when I heard her snapping her fingers like a mother might do to reprimand her child.

"What are you doing? That's MY table! I'm still sitting there." She was livid.

A grown man looked up and mumbled something about not realizing she was coming back. He slinked back to his table and waited for his friend to join him. An older man finished filling his cup and took the seat beside the newspaper-thief.

They began chatting.

My fourteen-year-old daughter whispered, "Awkward," and spread more cream cheese on her asiago bagel.

When the woman returned to her table, the would-be thief attempted to apologize once more. But the woman was still miffed, making reconciliation impossible.

"Couldn't you tell I was still sitting here? My glasses are here. My plate. My purse. Seriously, couldn't you tell I was coming back?" She pointed at each personal possession as she named it, and then nailed him with a look over her reading glasses that declared him to be either an idiot or a -- well, since this is a Catholic blog, I won't write that word here.

The man abandoned the apology and went back to his conversation with the older man and the woman returned to reading her newspaper.

By now, I am in full-people-watch mode.

Within minutes, the man's story took shape. He thanked his friend for meeting him. Asked him if he had any leads on jobs. Anything. I'll do almost anything. My dad has helped us out a lot financially. Really, everything is going well. My wife is even doing better.

Over the course of the conversation, I pieced together that the man's wife had been ill - quite ill - due to some unfortunate health problem that was left unsaid.

Actually, everything would be just great, if I could get a job. It's been almost a year.

And that's when I began to wonder. The newspaper thief seemed to be at least middle class. He wore a suit coat. Had well-groomed hair. Was clean-shaven. Wore glasses that made him look almost handsome. But he wasn't eating or drinking anything.

Could it be that the man was simply looking for the help wanted pages? Was he pinching pennies out of necessity and not because he was some arrogant *&^&)*^$?

Is it possible that the woman just didn't realize that the trespasser was dealing with some really tough stuff, and all he wanted was a couple of pages from her paper.

I thought about their conversation. How she had ended it by saying there are more papers right over there if you want to buy one for yourself.

She had been indignant at that point. The man didn't get up from his chair then. He didn't go buy a paper. He just thanked her. And kept waiting for his friend.

I felt convicted. How would I have responded if I had been the woman? Would I have been angry. Would I have snapped my fingers at the man? No. I don't like to draw attention to myself like that. But I definitely would have been irritated by a man who violated my personal space the second I stood up and walked away from my table.

Everyone really is fighting a battle. Everyone. And I wouldn't have realized it any better than the woman with the angry snapping fingers.

Unemployment. A spouse with health issues. God knows what else.

How difficult would it have been for the woman to ask the newspaper-thief if he was looking for something in particular? If I'm not reading it, you are welcome to it.

That wouldn't have been so hard. Not hard at all.

So, a Scotsman who died in Mount Pleasant, Iowa, might have left us the key to peace and justice and charity.

Everyone really is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Be kind. Share the love of Christ with all people.

Everyone really is fighting a battle.

Denise will be on the Son Rise Morning Show

Denise will join the Son Rise Morning Show Tuesday (10/22/13) at 7:45 ET.

Denise will be on the Son Rise Morning Show

Check Out the New Website: denisebossert.com

The new website is up and running! http://denisebossert.com/

You can still find Denise at:

and now... on her new website: http://denisebossert.com/

Check Out the New Website: denisebossert.com

Mary and the New Evangelization

Image from The Catholic Company - Facebook Page

Today, Pope Francis consecrated the world to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

If you have followed my blog, you know that I once struggled with Church teaching on the Immaculate Conception - and you know that, today, I am consecrated fully to Mary.

Like so many others, I have come to know Mary as a tender and merciful mother. In 2007, I went through St. Louis de Montfort's Consecration to Jesus Through Mary.

I have a heart for evangelization. Maybe you do as well. Just as there is no quicker and easier path to holiness than through Mary, there is no quicker and smoother path to evangelizing the world than through the Immaculate Conception.

In 33 Days to Morning Glory, Fr. Michael E. Gaitley, MIC, explains that the goal of St. Maximilian Kolbe's Militia Immaculata "was nothing less than to bring the whole world to God through Christ under the generalship of Mary Immaculate" (50).

She is Judith. She is Deborah. She is Queen Esther. But Mary's goal is not just the salvation of a few. It is not limited to the salvation of one nation.

If you have a heart for evangelization, you need to know something. Mary's heart for evangelization is bigger and wider than you can possibly imagine. Her Immaculate Heart is fixed on one thing: "The Conversion of the entire world" (60 Gaitley).

That is why Pope Francis has consecrated the world to her Immaculate Heart.

She is not looking for an army whose end is found in serving her. She is building an army who will follow her in battle - to bring a lost world to Christ.

For Mary, it is always about Christ.

Who is she that comes forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array?

Confer, O Lord, on us, who serve beneath the standard of Mary, that fullness of faith in You and trust in her, to which it is given to conquer the world. Grant us a lively faith, animated by charity, which will enable us to perform all our actions from the motive of pure love of You, and ever to see You and serve You in our neighbor; a faith, firm and immovable as a rock, through which we shall rest tranquil and steadfast amid the crosses, toils and disappointments of life; a courageous faith which will inspire us to undertake and carry out without hesitation great things for your glory and for the salvation of souls; a faith which will be our Legion's Pillar of Fire - to lead us forth united - to kindle everywhere the fires of divine love - to enlighten those who are in darkness and in the shadow of death - to inflame those who are lukewarm - to bring back life to those who are dead in sin; and which will guide our own feet in the way of peace; so that - the battle of life over - our Legion may reassemble, without the loss of any one, in the kingdom of Your love and glory. Amen.

(prayers take from Legion of Mary)

Mary and the New Evangelization

Praying the Rosary With a Child's Heart by Pope John Paul I (1978)

"To be, for a half hour at least, before God as I am in reality, with all my misery and with the best of myself; to let rise to the surface from the depths of my being the child I once was, who wants to laugh, to chatter, to love the Lord and who sometimes feels the need to cry so that he may be shown mercy, helps me to pray. The rosary, a simple and easy prayer, helps me to be a child and I am not ashamed at all." -Pope John Paul I (1978) who reigned for 33 days.

 

Praying the Rosary With a Child's Heart by Pope John Paul I (1978)

World Mission Sunday Is Coming!

World Mission Sunday Is Coming!

September 2012 Catholic by Grace Column

Dad tried to convince me to become a Presbyterian minister. Presbyterians had embraced women’s ordination. My father could think of nothing that would make him prouder than for one of his children to follow in his footsteps and become a Protestant preacher. My sister was more interested in science and math than theology and philosophy, so Dad targeted me.

I laughed, and said, “No way. I see what you go through. Every parishioner is a critic. You have as many bosses as you have members on the parish roster. And many of them criticize you behind your back!”

It was sad, but true.

I still don’t like gossip, and as a Catholic convert, I am particularly uneasy when I hear someone talking about a priest.

Old Testament David would not be amused.

I remember sitting on my grandma’s lap as she read the story of young David and King Saul from a children’s Bible. When David stumbles upon King Saul in a cave, he knows this is his one chance to end the deadly cat-and-mouse game that King Saul started. But David merely cuts a square from Saul’s garment and walks away – to prove to Saul that David is his trusted servant.

“I will not raise my hand to God’s anointed one.” It was David’s motto, and it should be ours as well.

Most of us would walk away from revenge. But how often do we use our tongues as a weapon? A weapon against a family member. A colleague. And even one’s own priest.

Words are powerful. They kill friendships and wound marriages. They turn neighbors into enemies. They can make a person resign or stop going home for the holidays.

But I think the greatest damage the tongue can do is in a parish.

When I was about five years old, I learned a song in Bible school. “Oh be careful little mouth what you say. For the Father up above is looking down in love. So be careful little mouth what you say.”

It is a lesson I need to learn.

As much as I hate gossip, I find it difficult to walk away when others dabble in it. All too often, I have remained silent or even participated in the conversation when I should have come to the defense of another. When two people gossip, the “weak and defenseless one” is the one who is not even present to refute the accusations. He is the one that I am charged with defending!

Father, forgive me.

Sins such as these affect the Body of Christ. Each one of us is made in the likeness of Christ. Our fellow Catholics have been anointed with Holy Chrism. And so, we are called to remember David’s motto. “I will not raise my hand to God’s anointed one.”

Sometimes, that means coming to the defense of the one who isn’t even present to make a defense.

And sometimes, the hand we must not raise is actually a mouth that should not speak.

In his homily at a morning Mass on April 9, 2013, Pope Francis exhorted the faithful to remain meek and refuse to speak ill of others. Meekness has “many enemies,” he said, explaining that gossip is the first enemy of meekness. The Holy Father wants us to put aside a gossiping tongue and a critical spirit. "When one prefers gossiping, gossiping about another, it's like clobbering another . . . it is a temptation of the Evil One," said Pope Francis.

If we are to be one body in Christ, we must place a guard on our tongues. Father, silence our wayward tongues and make us truly one.

 

September 2012 Catholic by Grace Column

Mary's Touch Interview

On Wednesday, October 2, Cheri Lamonte will be interviewing Denise on Mary's Touch. Program TBA.

For more information about Mary's Touch, go to: http://www.marystouch.org/

Mary's Touch Interview

Saint Joseph Radio Interview

Bossert was interviewed by Saint Joseph Radio on Saturday, September 28th. She is the newest member of the Saint Joseph Radio Speakers Bureau. For more information about having her speak at your parish, go to: http://saintjosephradio.net/ or contact her at denise.bossert@centurytel.net.

Saint Joseph Radio Interview

The Eucharist - Finding Jesus in God's "Stereogram"

In the early 1990s, my sister lived in New Zealand and worked for a traveling science roadshow. We talked on the phone rarely. It was too expensive, and the voice delay on oversea phone calls was really frustrating. My sister began sending postcards to keep us current on her exciting adventure. One postcard stands out in my memory from that era. On the front of the postcard, there was a stereogram, a hidden 3-D picture wrapped in a blue-green 2-D design. The instructions on the postcard said to hold the image right up to your nose and slowly pull the picture away from your face. The reader was told to stare through the picture rather than try to focus on the 2-D pattern. “Let your eyes go beyond the obvious image, and you will begin to see the hidden image,” the footnote read.

I raised the card to my nose and tried it about ten times. My children figured it out almost immediately.

“I give up. I can’t see a thing!” I tossed the card on the table and my son picked it up, imploring me to give it another try.

“You have to let it happen, Mom. Don’t look at it. Kind of let your eyes go out of focus. And fight it when your eyes want to look at the design. You’ll never see it that way. The picture is deeper. Not here.” He rubbed the palm of his hand across the postcard. “It’s there.” He took his right index finger and pointed down to the postcard in his left hand. When his finger touched the picture, he slid it around the side of the picture, and kept on pointing to an imaginary place beyond.

He handed the card to me, and I took it reluctantly. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I thought about what my son had said and gave it one last serious effort.

And suddenly, I saw it. Three dolphins. Three 3-D dolphins in a row. It was SO cool.

There are times when the indelible mark of God on the lives of those around us can seem as elusive as the 3-D picture hidden in a stereogram. We don’t see Christ in our neighbor. We don’t see Christ in the poor. We don’t see Christ in the priest.

We just see a rude neighbor. A guy on the side of the road with a sign. A man with foibles like everyone else who sometimes wears a stole.

God tells us to look closer. No, not at the surface. Don’t fixate on the outward patterns. You’ll never see what lies beneath that way. Jesus is there, and you can see him if you let yourself get past the surface image.

He’s there, in the eyes of your neighbor.

He’s there, in the eyes of the poor, the sick, the imprisoned, the immigrant.

He’s there in the ordained one. A priest forever. Marked with God’s indelible imprint.

Sometimes, the pattern on the surface throws us off. We become frustrated by what we see. God tells us to look a little deeper. Give it another try. True identity is sometimes hidden. Cloaked in external trappings.

And if we can begin to see Jesus Christ hidden in the faces around us, maybe we can begin to see Our Lord hidden under the appearance of bread and wine.

Fight it when your eyes want to look at the design. You’ll never see Him that way. Christ is deeper. He’s there.

No longer bread.

No longer wine.

Jesus.

Soon, we enter the “Year of Faith.” It’s time to put on the eyes of faith and see Jesus Christ.

 

 

The Eucharist - Finding Jesus in God's "Stereogram"

I Need Thee O I Need Thee - Acapella Arrangement

I Need Thee O I Need Thee - Acapella Arrangement

Awesome: listen to this one-man choir

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3wSbLa2uGg

Awesome: listen to this one-man choir

Something from Catholic Lane

http://catholiclane.com/helping-people-into-rcia/

Something from Catholic Lane

Someone Posted the Final Score on Facebook

My husband watched the football game today. He recorded it so he could fast forward through all of the commercials and uncomfortable moments when the Rams weren't playing so well.

I sat on the sofa with him, one eye on our two young grandsons and the other on Facebook. A Facebook friend posted that the Rams won the game.

My husband was only at half-time on the recorded game.

I sat there and listened to John (my husband) lament. The Rams were a mess. They didn't stand a chance. Their defense stunk. It looked terrible. This team was giving the win to the Cardinals Football Team.

I kept the final score to myself. John hated the way the game was going, but the only thing he would hate more would be for me to tell him that we really do win in the end.

I realized that I could watch the game without stress - because I knew how it all ended. I knew that John would be relieved in the end. All his fussing and fuming was just baseless fear.

Our team had already won.

And I thought of Judith. How she stood up to the fussing and fuming men in Israel and told them to buck up. Their God had never let them down, and He wasn't about to let them down now.

As a Church, we are going through some tough days. We can't sit around as though the game is over. We are in the middle of the fray. In a strange way, we are playing the game in real time, but we are also looking at the status report that says the game is ours. We have already won.

We are actively engaging the opponent. AND we have won the battle.

There is peace in this kind of assurance - a Judith kind of peace.

Judith knew what it meant to be in this both-and place. God had already won the victory, so they needed to quit acting like they'd already lost. But they needed to get off their butts and pray and fast and DO SOMETHING! Anything. Except throw in the towel.

Chances are, you are dealing with your own enemies right now. Chances are, you have a few struggles that have you feeling down and out.

Take a lesson from Judith and pick yourself up. Wash the tears from your face. Skip a meal or two and pray instead. Amazing what a little prayer and fasting can accomplish - or rather, what God can accomplish when we offer him our prayers and fasting.

God has won the battle.

We know who wins in the end.

To the one who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you unblemished and exultant, in the presence of his glory, to the only God, our savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord be glory, majesty, power, and authority from ages past, now, and for ages to come. Amen. Jude 1:24-25




  

Someone Posted the Final Score on Facebook

The First Time I Prayed the Rosary - years before entering the Church.

Trivia for the day. I prayed my first Rosary for peace in 1990 when I was teaching in a Catholic school in Iowa. I wasn't Catholic and had no idea how to pray the Rosary. I didn't pray another Rosary for 15 years. But, I organized my Spanish club to join together and pray the prayers in Spanish that day in 1990. Back then, I found the Spanish version easier to say/pray - because I still had a strong anti-Catholic bias against things like the Rosary. Strange how praying in another language freed me from that bias long enough that I could join with my students in prayer. I still remember how to pray those prayers in Spanish. Padre Nuestro... Dios te salve Maria...

 

Nikki, a student at Beckman High School, taught me the order of prayers and helped me to lead the students. We prayed in the Adoration Chapel. I had no idea that Jesus was truly present in the Tabernacle. I knew that the Communion bread was there - but that is all I knew.

 

Today was the first time since that day that I prayed a Rosary for peace - this time as a Catholic.

 

I suppose I will always feel like a little girl, the little sister of the Cradle Catholics, but I have come to love my little place in the Church. I am blessed to learn by watching and listening with an open heart.

 

And it is good.

 

May Our Lord hear our prayers for peace and spare our world the tragedy of more violence. May our leaders exercise restraint so that no one suffers at the hands of our country's leaders.

The First Time I Prayed the Rosary - years before entering the Church.

Once Upon A Time, when I was in a non-sacramental marriage

I've been in a marriage deprived of marital grace.

I lived 13 years in a non-sacramental marriage. I remember feeling like I was living in a black box with a locked door. The door was locked from the outside - and I was trapped within.

I remember thinking that my husband had the key and that he could unlock that door at any time and let me out. And I would live. And I would be filled with joy.

I thought he held the key in his hand. That my loneliness had everything to do with him. With his choices. What he did. What he failed to do.

The truth is, the other spouse does not hold the key in a non-Sacramental marriage. The truth is, the key is marital grace. I was blaming a man.

God held the key. But we had entered the marriage without letting God form it and seal it and remain in it.

No one is qualified to determine whether a marriage is sacramental or not. Only Mother Church - the venue for God's marital grace and the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony - can make that determination. But I do know this, if there is no marital grace, there is only sadness. A box.

And a lonely soul inside of it.

In 2005, a went through the annulment process and realized many things about myself - and that marriage. I took a long hard look at the two people that met that day and took vows. And I realized what Mother Church determined after looking at it all very closely. We were not ready. I . . . I was not ready.

The details don't matter here. It is enough to say that no woman (or man) can make up for the absence of marital grace in a non-sacramental marriage.

That grace is mystery. It is beauty. It is serendipitous. It is always on time.

I know these things because, today, I know the strength and joy of marital grace. This month, my husband and I celebrate 17 years of grace-filled marriage.

I still have a box. Inside that box, my soul abides with Christ. Grace is there - that key is there. And grace opens the door and lets me go out and love my husband and my family and live for Christ and do tough things and give of myself. Then, I go back to the quiet place, the door is always open, and I enter into that intimate space where Our Lord waits. He fills me up. He even shuts the door and locks us in together if I desire it.

And then, He walks with me to the door and we walk through it together. And I am filled with what I need to live my vocation.

That same miracle happens to my husband.

And to both of us together.

Grace is always there.

Marriage is no longer a trap. I am no longer imprisoned by fear. This life of marriage - it no longer feels like a box I want to escape.

It is life.

Where love holds me. Where grace reigns.

Once Upon A Time, when I was in a non-sacramental marriage

Life is Surreal

Life can be surreal sometimes.

I spent the last two days working on a marketing plan for a book I'm writing. The proposal is in the final stage of evaluation.

I suppose that is why I am remembering something I did almost two decades ago. I hopped on a plane and headed to Chicago and Minneapolis to interview book publishers - Evangelical book publishers, that is.

The article I was writing was about Christian fiction. The question I was asking was whether or not Christian fiction would ever hit the cross-over market. Would it ever make it in the mainstream and hold its own.

I was given good interviews and stacks of galleys. One set of galleys was for the Left Behind series.

Lo and behold, Tyndale had a cross-over book in galley stage in 1995, and we didn't even know it. I packed the galleys in my suitcase, including the Left Behind galleys, and headed home.

Now, almost 20 years later, I am writing a book. That's nothing new; I've tried it a few times.

But this time, it's not fiction. It is non-fiction.

And it is Catholic.

Life can be surreal sometimes.

God prepares us for every good work. And sometimes, the preparation is in the most unusual places. Like a restaurant in Chicago, seated with Protestant publishers who hope to get exposure from your column for their up-and-coming book.

And then, God leads you down another road. He had something else in mind all along.

I'll keep you posted on the book. I'm excited. But the really important decision has already been made - the one to come home to the Catholic Church. The decision to say yes to grace and the Eucharist and the ongoing conversion that brings us into communion with Christ.

For that, I say, thanks be to God.

Life is Surreal