I
stretched out on the bed and reluctantly prepared for another night of leg
cramps and propped pillows. The Christmas presents were wrapped and ready. The
Christmas cookies decorated. The overnight hospital bag was packed and waiting
in the corner. My sister had arrived and was ready to look after my daughter.
Still,
nothing happened.
The
first pain hit at 9:30 PM. I knew immediately that I had skipped early labor
and entered active labor. At the hospital, the nurse called it precipitate
delivery. There would be no time for pain medicine. I was disappointed, but at
least something was happening. I wouldn’t be pregnant forever.
I
looked at the clock and wondered if our baby’s birthday would be Christmas Eve
or Christmas Day.
Then
the nurse checked the heartbeat and the questions about pain medicine and
possible arrival time turned into terrible silence.
Something
was wrong. The nurse wasn’t smiling. She just kept moving the obstetrical
stethoscope from one spot to another.
“I’m
having trouble finding the heartbeat.” After a few more attempts, she muttered
something about getting the doctor, and I was left alone in the small
examination room
The
wait was excruciating. I knew what labor was like. I’d been through it two
years earlier. I couldn’t imagine giving birth while overcome by grief.
Sometimes,
waiting is like a game. It’s fun. Exciting.
Sometimes,
waiting is a chore. It’s demanding. Requires effort.
Sometimes,
waiting is agonizing. Terrifying. Earth-shattering.
This
pregnancy had been all of these.
Before
I became Catholic, every day between Halloween and December 25th was
Christmas, not Advent. I focused on making sure the food was ready, the cards
were sent, and the presents were wrapped. I prepared the house for Christmas,
but I did not stop to think about how to prepare myself for Christmas.
Bottom
line, I did not know how to wait.
As
Catholics, we know that Advent is about waiting. Preparing. Journeying with
Israel through Salvation History. A man grows into a family. Twelve sons become
twelve tribes. The tribes become a nation. Prophets, judges and kings lead
them. Everything presses on to one great event.
A
young woman steps into the center of all things and says yes to the most
incredible proposition of all time. God has chosen you, Mary. And all creation
waits for an answer.
As
that final week of Advent arrives, we see clearly. This is more than a journey
through time. This is a journey to a person.
To
the God-man. Messiah. Mary’s child.
God’s own Son.
At
times, the wait was exciting. Seas parted. Angels visited. Walls tumbled. A
donkey talked.
At
times, the wait was difficult. Brothers argued. Kings failed. Generations were
exiled.
At
times, the wait was terrifying. People died. Nations fought. God was silent.
And
then, He spoke.
With
one word, the waiting was over. Unto us a child is born. Unto us a son is
given. And upon his shoulders, dominion rests. (Isaiah 9:6).
Advent
quietly passes. A baby cries. The wait is over.
On
Christmas Eve 1985, a doctor stepped into the examination room and heard a
heartbeat. My son was born at 11:53 PM. The wait was over.
Every
year, we pass through Advent and enter Christmas. The changing liturgical
seasons are always fresh and new, like it is all happening right now – the
waiting, the expectation, the fulfillment. And so it is.
No comments:
Post a Comment