Peace Like A River . . . where I found it.

Peace Like a River in my Soul

(I wrote this a few years ago when I was sorting through what God wanted me to do for Him. I was unsettled, uncertain, and struggling to find peace, wanting to possess a quieted soul that knows it belongs to Him and He's already established - and called into being - those things that come next. As I read this today, I realized that God has brought me many paces from this "stuck" place. I am so thankful - and resting in His Peace.)


There are many portions of the Liturgy of the Mass that resonate with me. It does something to my heart when I hear Father proclaim, This is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. Likewise, I am humbled when I say the words, I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the word and I shall be healed.


Power-filled words. Truth. Life. There is nothing boring or redundant about this Liturgy. Like Peter, I know these are the words of life. Like Peter, I find myself saying where else can I go? This is where my soul is at home. This is where I find peace.


By nature, I am an anxious person. I worry about everything. Everything.


My children, my husband, my extended family. My students, their parents, the lesson plans. My dog and my house. I worry about what I will say, what I should have said, what I did say. I worry about what I will do, what I should have done, and what I actually did do.


I have sought peace on my knees many times, and sometimes peace has come.


I have put the day’s activities aside to enjoy some entertainment and a diversion from the chaos.


I have sat at the piano or called a friend or sent an e-mail, hoping for respite from my self-imposed stress.


Sometimes, these things work. Sometimes, I find peace and respite from the storms of life, but there is one place that has never failed to erase the anxiety. There is one place that I have always, always experienced grace, and I am freed from the concerns of my little life. Free us from all anxiety. Powerful words. Grace-filled words. Truth. Life.


The Liturgy of the Mass. In the Mass, I am healed and freed. In the Mass, I have some sense of what it was like when Our Lord walked up to someone, touched him, and said, Be healed. And the man went away dancing for joy.


Jesus, Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace. Become the Master of our angry seas. And help us to walk on the waters, with our eyes clearly set on you.