O my God, Thou knowest I have never desired but to love Thee alone. I seek no other glory. Thy Love has gone before me from my childhood, it has grown with my growth, and now it is an abyss the depths of which I cannot fathom. -St. Therese
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Monday, June 25, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Like Seabiscuit
I can vividly remember two Christmas presents from December 2003.
My daughter gave my father a plastic horse. Jennifer turned five right before
Christmas that year, and she was determined that she would pick out and
purchase a gift for everyone in the family. She didn’t want money or opinions
from anyone. It was her year to be a giver. She chose a plastic horse at the
dollar store and declared, “This one’s for Grandpa.”
I guess that Christmas was the Year of the Horse, because
one of my older children received the movie Seabiscuit.
On December 28th, we finished the evening meal and sat down to watch
the movie as a family. The phone rang in the middle of our movie night, and I
went to the bedroom to listen to the message as it recorded. It was my sister.
She was calling to say that our dad had just passed away.
We turned off the movie, and we never went back to finish
it. My mother gave Jennifer the plastic horse. “Here. Grandpa would want you to
have it,” She said. Jennifer received the horse with a heavy heart.
This summer I am taking a class on social justice through
the Paul VI Institute in St. Louis. Today, the instructor showed us a clip of a
movie. Mr. Kraus reminded us that our lives mirror the theme of the movie: we
have risen from broken lives to discover what we were meant to be – who we are
meant to be. Sometimes, we are pretty beat up by the world. We are so screwed
up, sometimes, that we have forgotten that we have human dignity. We don’t
remember that we are made in the likeness of God. And we fail to realize that
our neighbor is God’s special creation as well.
And then he pressed play. The movie was Seabiscuit.
I swallowed hard and permitted the images and lines to wash
over me. This was the movie I had refused to watch for nearly a decade. God
seemed to say, it’s okay. You’re ready, and you know it.
This amazing line hit me. “I just can’t help feeling they
got him so screwed up, running in circles, that he’s forgotten what he was born
to do. He just needs to learn how to be a horse again.”
There was a peace in my spirit as I listened. Denise,
you are Seabiscuit. The world did its number on you and you got pretty screwed
up. God needed to get your attention, and that was painful. But there was an
important lesson to be learned in the dying and brokenness. You needed to learn
how to be the one I created you to be. You had forgotten who you are.
I was created in the image and likeness of God! There is a
dignity there. I am not created for sin or bitterness or confusion or anger or selfishness
or exploitation by anybody. I am made to be Christ to the world. To be His
mercy. His love. His joy!
I carry the mark of the risen Christ!
But I had forgotten that.
I am an oblation. An offering back to my God. I am a
libation. A pouring out of self for another.
In that same scene, Seabiscuit takes off and runs with such
beauty and grace and strength that the jockey (Tobey McGuire) yells out, “You
are an amazing animal!”
It’s been almost ten years since we paused the movie and
began a season of grieving. In time, that grief turned to conversion. And
conversion awakened me to my calling.
I remembered how to run with grace.
I can hear my Jockey sometimes. He says, “Okay, let’s see
what you’ve got.” And, like Tobey McGuire, He laughs then and throws back His
head, shouting with joy. “You are an amazing creation!”
Like Seabiscuit, there is a sweet release in each one of us
when we realize that we are being healed. We run faster than we ever believed
we could. Isaiah says it best in chapter 61. I proclaim a year of favor from the Lord. This is your vindication by
your God. He will give you the oil of gladness. . . a mantle instead of a faint
spirit. . . the planting of the Lord to show his glory.
Okay, so let’s see what you’ve got. It’s time to remember
who you are. Giddy-up.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
The Greatest Miracle: Corpus Christi
It is difficult to describe the joy and peace I sensed when I received the Most
Blessed Sacrament for the first time--as one who is truly in union with
Christ.
To be honest, I wondered if my overactive imagination was partly responsible for the profound experience I had when I knelt afterward, but each time, He has come again with that same deposit of peace. Each time, I recognize the Presence of Jesus Christ inside me and know that He is transforming and equipping me for service. I suppose there will be times in the next few decades when I do not sense Him so readily or feel anything profound, but I am comforted by the thought that He will come, regardless of my feelings, and bring to me precisely what I need every time I receive Him.
It saddens me when I consider my first forty years. I’ve “sat in on” many Catholic Masses through the years; I had no idea what I was missing. Without giving it much thought, I believed what those Catholics were doing was basically the same thing I did every time my Protestant church celebrated Communion. Not so. Protestant Communion was never efficacious for me; it never equipped me to live the life Christ marked out for me. While lovely and inspiring, it was merely symbolic.
Dear brother and sister in the Faith, do you know what you have in this Sacrament? Do you pause before receiving Our Lord and contemplate it all with wonder? If so, have you ever spoken about such things with a non-Catholic? Your evangelical friends are quick to ask you if you have asked the Lord to come into your heart. Have you ever asked them if they know what it is like for Him to come into the heart, the soul, the arms, the legs, and into one’s entire being? My friend, you have access to the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Our Lord.
Why not tell somebody?
To be honest, I wondered if my overactive imagination was partly responsible for the profound experience I had when I knelt afterward, but each time, He has come again with that same deposit of peace. Each time, I recognize the Presence of Jesus Christ inside me and know that He is transforming and equipping me for service. I suppose there will be times in the next few decades when I do not sense Him so readily or feel anything profound, but I am comforted by the thought that He will come, regardless of my feelings, and bring to me precisely what I need every time I receive Him.
It saddens me when I consider my first forty years. I’ve “sat in on” many Catholic Masses through the years; I had no idea what I was missing. Without giving it much thought, I believed what those Catholics were doing was basically the same thing I did every time my Protestant church celebrated Communion. Not so. Protestant Communion was never efficacious for me; it never equipped me to live the life Christ marked out for me. While lovely and inspiring, it was merely symbolic.
Dear brother and sister in the Faith, do you know what you have in this Sacrament? Do you pause before receiving Our Lord and contemplate it all with wonder? If so, have you ever spoken about such things with a non-Catholic? Your evangelical friends are quick to ask you if you have asked the Lord to come into your heart. Have you ever asked them if they know what it is like for Him to come into the heart, the soul, the arms, the legs, and into one’s entire being? My friend, you have access to the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Our Lord.
Why not tell somebody?
Blessed Feast of the Body of Christ. Go to Mass this weekend and
celebrate the Feast of Corpus Christi.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Dear non-Catholic family
Dear non-Catholic family,
You know me very well. And I know you and love you dearly. We are close enough to know which side we each stand on the use of contraception and other topics like sterilization and abortion-inducing drugs. Our country has entered into a serious dialogue about whether or not the new healthcare law, which goes into effect in August of this year, should cover the very things we disagree on.
We can respectfully disagree on the use of these things. It is dangerous, however, to think that the HHS mandate is about contraception, sterilization and abortifacient drugs. It is the topic of the day, but the real danger is in ignoring what is set in motion with this mandate.
It is not about contraception. Contraception is inexpensive and readily available. It will continue to be so no matter what happens with this mandate. So, it is not about whether or not "your side wins" or "my side wins".
In fact, if the mandate stands, we lose. You lose too. Here's why.
I'm not going to try to convince you here that these things are immoral. There is a time and place for that discussion. In our home, around the dinner table - that is probably the best place for that talk.
I'm going to try to share with you the what-if that will affect your dad (step-dad) and me and indirectly you should the mandate fail to be overturned.
If the mandate stands, people like John and me will have to decide whether or not to follow our consciences. If we have the grace to stand in what we believe, we will probably have to "opt out" of the healthcare coverage. There is a fee for this. That fee will affect our bottom line. If there is no options available to us, there is a real possibility that we would be uninsured. Imagine what that could mean. How likely is it that John or I will have an illness that could destroy our financial security? You know us both. We are not overly healthy people. We are also not as young as we once were. One unforeseen thing, and there goes the house and the other assets.
This is something we would have to weigh. It doesn't just affect us. It would affect all of you as well.
If the mandate stands, Catholic institutions like my school might be in danger of closing. Any Catholic institution that throws open the doors to non-Catholics and serves non-Catholics as well as Catholics will be required to accept this mandate. Should Catholic institutions "opt out" the penalty fees are so high that they would have to close their doors. Imagine the Catholic hospitals and schools you know that would simply have to close. Imagine what that might mean for every person living in this country. Imagine what it might mean to you - if I can no longer teach at my school - or any Catholic school.
That would most certainly affect us financially. Anything that affects us financially also affects you and your little sister.
It's not about contraception. Your friends can still get it easily and cheaply. You are probably more aware of that reality than I am. It is about something more. Are people like John and me free to follow our consciences or not? How will we be punished for our "civil disobedience?"
The stakes are higher than you think.
Just so you know, it's not about the money to us. But it will affect us there as well. We know that. Now, you do as well.
Love,
Mom and John (Dad)
You know me very well. And I know you and love you dearly. We are close enough to know which side we each stand on the use of contraception and other topics like sterilization and abortion-inducing drugs. Our country has entered into a serious dialogue about whether or not the new healthcare law, which goes into effect in August of this year, should cover the very things we disagree on.
We can respectfully disagree on the use of these things. It is dangerous, however, to think that the HHS mandate is about contraception, sterilization and abortifacient drugs. It is the topic of the day, but the real danger is in ignoring what is set in motion with this mandate.
It is not about contraception. Contraception is inexpensive and readily available. It will continue to be so no matter what happens with this mandate. So, it is not about whether or not "your side wins" or "my side wins".
In fact, if the mandate stands, we lose. You lose too. Here's why.
I'm not going to try to convince you here that these things are immoral. There is a time and place for that discussion. In our home, around the dinner table - that is probably the best place for that talk.
I'm going to try to share with you the what-if that will affect your dad (step-dad) and me and indirectly you should the mandate fail to be overturned.
If the mandate stands, people like John and me will have to decide whether or not to follow our consciences. If we have the grace to stand in what we believe, we will probably have to "opt out" of the healthcare coverage. There is a fee for this. That fee will affect our bottom line. If there is no options available to us, there is a real possibility that we would be uninsured. Imagine what that could mean. How likely is it that John or I will have an illness that could destroy our financial security? You know us both. We are not overly healthy people. We are also not as young as we once were. One unforeseen thing, and there goes the house and the other assets.
This is something we would have to weigh. It doesn't just affect us. It would affect all of you as well.
If the mandate stands, Catholic institutions like my school might be in danger of closing. Any Catholic institution that throws open the doors to non-Catholics and serves non-Catholics as well as Catholics will be required to accept this mandate. Should Catholic institutions "opt out" the penalty fees are so high that they would have to close their doors. Imagine the Catholic hospitals and schools you know that would simply have to close. Imagine what that might mean for every person living in this country. Imagine what it might mean to you - if I can no longer teach at my school - or any Catholic school.
That would most certainly affect us financially. Anything that affects us financially also affects you and your little sister.
It's not about contraception. Your friends can still get it easily and cheaply. You are probably more aware of that reality than I am. It is about something more. Are people like John and me free to follow our consciences or not? How will we be punished for our "civil disobedience?"
The stakes are higher than you think.
Just so you know, it's not about the money to us. But it will affect us there as well. We know that. Now, you do as well.
Love,
Mom and John (Dad)
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Introducing "A Contemplative Vocation" from Catholic Seekers
Meet my friend, my spiritual mentor, my sister in Christ. Mary Beth Kremski. She has walked with me in the Faith since my conversion in 2005. I promise you... you will grow in grace and wisdom as you follow her blogs. [Click on the picture]